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I'm 18 and in college. One of my really close guy friends admitted that he was attracted to me and one night and we ended up kissing and touching. He wants to sleep with me but I'm a virgin and he's in a relationship with a kid on the way. Should i just do it and get it out of the way(the whole friends with benifits thing) or should I just back off?
Honestly, my answer to this would have to be "DEFINITELY NOT"... for so many reasons.
First of all, do you _really_ want to just throw away your virginity? Maybe you feel like it's something that's not a big deal, but you shouldn't have to feel like your first time is something that you need to "get out of the way". There are TONS of girls and guys in college who are virgins; you shouldn't feel pressured to start having sex to fit in.
Second of all, this guy is in a relationship? Getting involved with someone who is already devoted to another person always spells trouble. You definitely don't want to just be his second choice girl. As a matter of respect for the other girl, and for YOURSELF, you should just let this guy go.
In the end, it's all up to you... but really, there are SO many new, amazing guys who you haven't met yet. Do you want to spend your time on one who is going to be so problematic?
Registered: 07-04-2004 Location: Rhode Island, USA
posted on 09-20-2004 at 13:52
Don't Do It
I agree with Freedom. Sex may or not be that big of a deal to the modern world but when giving away your virginity it, should be. Especially to a man you love and have married or are engaged to.
Think about the examples you will set for your children. If you have a daughter, one day she may come to you and ask how you lost your virginity. Do you really want to tell her you lost it to some guy/friend that wanted to get his dick wet and who was already in a relationship with a child on the way?
By sleeping with him you will start to go down a road of heart-aches. You will eventually begin to sleep with more men and start to lose respect for yourself with out realizing it because you begin to give your body away to every guy that wants to give you some emotional comfort. The thing is will the comfort he provide you be everlasting or will it only last till morning. This may not happen to you but this is the likly road that many evenutally go on.
I am not trying to say by you sleeping with him it will make you a bad person. What I am trying to say is for a more memorable and enjoyable experience, wait for the right guy and don't be fooled. I am a guy myself and I know how my gender thinks. He is only going to cause you confusion and heart-ache. If he knows your a virgin, he is probably thinking about poppin one more cherry before he has commit to this other girl who is carrying his child. Is that how you want to remember giving your virginity away? To a guy who just wants to conquer you then screw?
I personally do not frown on polygamy. If two people can share their love, I will not say their heart must be so small that it cannot include three or four. I will say this.
Everyone involved must be equal, and loving, and accepting of everyone else in the group. I do not believe in one man being married to two women. Marriage is a union. The desired result resembles one person with two souls. Adding a third should not resemble two people each with a soul and a half. It should resemble one person with three souls. It's quite hard to have two people strong and virtuous enough to meet the demands of holding one love, let alone to find three people who are capable of the same respect for two others.
I would wager the relationship he has already formed, with the kid on the way, has not been informed of this particular incident. I do not believe she would be appreciative. Is this the kind of love you want in your life? Are you willing to accept that child as your own? Are you willing to live with the knowledge that when you have a kid on the way he will go to someone else to satiate his base instincts instead of tending to your desires as he should?
Out of all the world, you are expected to choose one to love through all of eternity, to experience heaven and suffer hell with. It can take time, and indeed you have plenty of it. Take your time and choose wisely. I hope you find someone worthy of you.
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